Disclaimer: This is not a post to brag on myself. Just reflecting on some things that have been said to me. I really do not want anyone to think that this is me being conceited. I tend to think that I am humble and I hate when people compliment me, but this seems different.
So, a long time friend one day told me that she has never met anyone like me. That she has never in her life had a friend like me. That I am there, even if she doesn't think she needs me and that I care, even when she doesn't want me to. And that she is so grateful to have me there.
One of my best friends has told me multiple times in the past couple months that I am "so friendly" and that everyone loves me. She became my friend through a series of weird events that are so extraordinary and that would have never made it seem as if it would be like it is today. (Side note: God is so awesome like that!)
Last week, I had an email conversation with someone that contacted me through craigslist about couches that we were selling. I ended up finding out that she's a struggling, unemployed student that is just trying to make ends meet. She told me that it was really nice to "meet" me.
This morning, in speaking with a guy that I've met through my work with the church, I was told that he just felt comfortable talking to me. And yesterday, he said that I just seemed to be so good at what I do - connecting with people and having relationships.
This afternoon, I had a playdate with a woman that I have only met once. We have spoken on the phone twice: once today when she said she was running late and once when she called to ask a few questions about the church. We set up the playdate on facebook. Towards the end of our time together, she turned to me and said, "Ya know, it's weird but I just feel so comfortable with you. I have no reservations about telling you things about me and my family." I didn't know quite what to say.
Then she complimented my hat.
That's when I realized that I could care less about things that people compliment me on, such as my sneakers or my clothes or other crap that I've bought. I take some pride in compliments that I recieve when people see my home or my creations, such as brochures or my scrapbook pages or sewing projects, because of time and effort that I have committed to those things. But, hearing people tell me that they enjoy spending time with me, talking with me makes my heart swell, because it is nothing that I have done to make myself that way. By hearing them say that, I can see that they are seeing the Carla that God created, made from dust, and that they are seeing the hard work that my mom (and dad, kinda) put into shaping me and molding me into a person that loves people, cares for people. And I am able to say that "that is just who God made me to be."
So, it is His "fault" that I am so nice. So friendly. And I wouldn't change it for the world. Even if it means that I help carry other people's load, or that I cry at night for the lives of others, or that I fear for their fears and am joyful for their joys. So many people have this mindset that people hurt, people are painful, people are sin. And yea, we all hurt, we all cause pain and we all sin. But, where most people then "shut off" that element of them that creates and maintains relationships, I don't. I don't want to.
We have all been burned by someone. Or many someones. But when we meet new someones, we cannot know if they are going to cause us pain or heartbreak. And statistically, they will. But does that mean we do not need to be kind to them, that we should not say hello and form a relationship with them? And, looking at all the people I love in my life, past or present, I would not want to re-do a single one, even those that stabbed me in the back or broke my heart. I cannot know that I would be exactly where I am today and who I am today without those people and their influences. And I wouldn't want to miss that. I wouldn't want to change that.
Everytime I reach out and form a friendship with someone, I walk away gaining more than I gave. I am so thankful to God for allowing me to have an open heart to loving people, no matter where they are in their life, and to seeing people from the inside, not the appearance they give. I am so grateful that my heart has not been hardened by the life that I have lived.
So, here's the challenge: Think of one person you encounter in your life...whether it's the same cashier that you see whenever you go to the store, or a neighbor that lives down the street, or the friend of a friend that you see at gatherings but never talk to...a person that you see, maybe wave, but never really do much more. Think of this person and make the motion to start a conversation with them. A real conversation, beyond "Hi. How are you?" (although that's a great start) and then, next time, have the conversation and become more involved. Eventually, invite them to coffee or to have dinner. Most likely, they won't bite on the offer. So ask again. Sooner or later, maybe they will become something more than just a conversation...and then you will see that God's timing was perfect.
It may take doing this with ten or twenty or thirty people, but if you do it sincerely, with God's love, you will see something happen. I can't even explain it; you just have to live it.
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