Baby Fever

There are days when I think, oh, maybe we should have a baby. A cute, snuggly, adorable, sweet newborn would "complete" our family.

Then, I see a frazzled mom at a store or hear an infant screaming and crying at a restaurant. I watch my friends with their babies or watch friends' babies. I think about the cost of formula and diapers. I walk through a house strewn with toys and clothes or clean up after my furry child. I sit down and have five minutes of calm while Isa and Teo are miraculously getting along or are entertained, then I spend the next hour refereeing fights and being asked ten thousand nonsensical questions. It's like God saying, "Wait a minute..."

That's when I realize that our life is perfect just the way it is right now for us at this moment.

My kids have finally learned to let me pee alone. They have mastered the art of brushing teeth, tying shoes, and showering alone. They sleep through the night and feed themselves (relatively) mess-free. They can buckle themselves into the car. They make some of their own meals (mostly PBJs, spaghetti-o's, pop tarts, and cereal). They can pour their own drinks and use a normal cup. They dress themselves and pick out their own clothes (although sometimes, their taste causes concern about whether they are blind or not). They can communicate when they are sick or tired or grumpy.

And, I know that I don't need anything else.

However, with all that being said, I think babies are amazing. I loved having both of ours. I cherish the moments I spent, holding them, feeding them, changing nasty diapers. I value the memories of waking up at 2 AM to lift a hysterical infant from the crib or rubbing the back of a sick toddler. I loved caring for them and those were special moments. However, for this part of our journey, I am content with where we are.

Contentment is not the same as settling or accepting anything less than what we want. It is an understanding that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. That I don't need what other people have. That my life is valuable without feeling as if it needs to be compared to someone elses. It means that I know God and trust Him with my life and that I am not going to waste my time or energy seeking something that is not in His plan.