Stink Bugs

These things are EVIL. Seriously and utterly evil. If you look closely enough, you may just be able to see the demon's face lurking in the pattern of its shell.

We have had these bugs in our home for over a year now. One will appear every couple of days and we follow a system to rid of them that involves wrapping them into a toilet paper casket and flushing them down the porcelain throne before they release the toxic gas that gives them their name.

However, I think they are evolving in their evilness.

A month or so ago, I woke up in the middle of the night. I felt a hair or something on my face, so I went to brush it back, only to feel a hard shell and tiny legs. I screamed and threw it across the room, but not before it dropped a stink bug bomb, leaving me gagging and struggling to breathe for the rest of the night, preferring to suffocate myself in the pillow or my husband's armpit than to breathe the air in the room.

Last week, as I was trying to get the gagging dog off my carpet and into the great backyard with my sprained foot, she threw up on the floor. The stench was much worse than the normal smell of dog vomit and there, in the middle of the food and grass lie a stink bug.

Then, this morning, Teo wakes up and comes downstairs, snuggling with me on the couch. Within seconds, I smell stink bug. Then, I realize that it is Teo. His entire head of hair is reeking of stink bug, as if he took the insect's guts and used them as hair gel. I force him to go take a shower immediately, and while he's upstairs, I continue to smell it, realizing the stench has transferred from his hair to my sweater.

So, are we the only people to have these demon-bugs infesting our home? Does anyone else have crazy stink bug stories, or better yet, does anyone know how to get rid of them?