God Made Me A Wounded Healer

As I am finishing up Father Fiction by Donald Miller, there is a concept that I have never heard or thought much about, until reading this book. And the more I have thought of it, the more intriguing it is.

Wounded Healer.
Wounded Healer.
Wounded Healer.
WOUNDED HEALER.

What is a wounded healer?

In an online article, it's defined as this:

"One important way of understanding illness, darkness and suffering is to see these states as processes by which an individual becomes a healer. Called the "wounded healer" paradigm, it is for many a process of initiation and of connection to a more expanded way of life. Of course, not everyone who enters difficult times becomes awakened by them. But for some who do, it is a process of metamorphosis. You may have your own personal history with this. You go through something very difficult. Perhaps it is a great physical or psychological illness, such as cancer or depression. Perhaps it is alcoholism or another addiction. It may be a great loss of an important relationship. You may even be called to the brink of death. And then something happens. You may hear voices speaking to you, telling you of the possibility of moving into another level of your life-or you may have another way of being "called." Something moves you into another stage of yourself, and your life changes. Your personality and interests change. You may be led to work with others to help uplift and heal them. You cannot go back to the life you once led. You are operating on an entirely new level."

And while I may not agree with other elements of the article or the posting website, the concept is there. And it's in the Father Fiction book, referring to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa, which was a group being brought together to listen to cases and attempt to reconcile the country. When asked who should serve on the commission, Bishop Desmond Tutu replied that it should consist of victims, people whose lives had been "ripped open by the horrors of oppression." But, he added, "Not arrogant victims, not people looking for vengeance, instead people who have the authority of awful experiences, experiences that educated them toward empathy, and yet have within themselves hearts willing to forgive." These people would be wounded healers.
Donald Miller wrote, "It makes you wonder, doesn't it, whether or not God calls specific people who have specific pain into the authority of empathy? Experience is, after all, the best education. We are the ones who will wrestle with security, who will overcome our fear of intimacy, who will learn the hard task of staying with a woman and our children, who will mentor others through the difficult journey of life, perhaps rescuing them from what we have been rescued." The entire concept is what has driven the book, which I am also reading and will be blogging through, called The Gutter.

I fully believe in this possibility, and more likely, the success that this can bring. I started my job at Anchor by teaching fatherhood classes. It's not that I'm not educated enough to teach them or that the concept was beyond my capabilities, but no matter how much I tried, I could not relate to the fathers on the level that is most necessary because I, despite every effort I may make, do not understand being a father from a first hand experience.

However, with my Community Connections position at the church, people come in seeking help and as they unwrap their life to me, I can relate to many of their situations. I know what it's like to grow up in a divorced home. I know what it's like to struggle with addiction firsthand and through my interactions with my dad. I know what it feels like to lose touch with my faith. To struggle through a marriage and give up. To survive an affair. To have a complicated family through remarriages. To have to eat peanut butter sandwiches and potpies for months. To live in a dangerous neighborhood. To cut my skin. To want to end it all. To be threatened. To be scared. To love someone who is hurting. To feel sexually violated. And I have been broken hearted as I help people I love deal with their lives. Suicide. Cancer. Heart defects. Death of a baby. Miscarriage. Unplanned pregnancy. Unwanted children. Child Abuse. Domestic Violence. Begging for food. Murder. Drug use. Drug sale. Prison. Losing custody. Emotional abuse. Learning disabilities. Mental illness. Problems with school. Dropping out. Foster homes. Adoption. Stealing. Juvenile Hall. Being shot at. Rape. Molestation. And the list goes on and on. I can connect to them in a very different way because I have a connection to what they are going through.

And, that's the value of overcoming the Gutter...you can go back and help other people out too. So, I am thankful that God has given me a large range of trials and hurts and pains to overcome. And I am so very grateful that he has brought me through those things, stronger, with a love for Him, and a passion to serve others who are going through it.

So, what a great segway into the next batch of blog posts about my reading...stay tuned!