7 Things to Know About Cutting (And the People that Engage in it!)

Part of the challenge that is ongoing as a counselor (or counseling student) is that continuous need to address one's own past and demons. Recently, that has taken me back to a time in my life that was dark and filled with inner turmoil and I hated it, but it has formed me and shaped me, so I must not hide from it.

I used to engage in "cutting.". As a teen, life is so confusing to begin with, but to have this internal war within you at all times is exhausting. Many people that haven't experienced it, often come up with assumptions about cutting that is untrue, so I have compiled a list of 7 Things to Know About Cutting

Image from Ava Tate

(1) It isn't just cutting. It's a lot of other forms too. The clinical term is "self-harm" or "NSSI" (nonsuicidal self injury). Basically, it is any form of self-inflicted injurious behavior. I didn't just cut. Once, I took a baseball and slammed it into my leg, over and over and over. I had punched myself, creating bruises on my arms and face. I carved a heart into my ankle (and later, cut a "x" over the heart). And when I did "cut", I used knives, safety pins, my finger nails, sewing needles, and anything else that was available when I became overwhelmed. Some people burn their skin. Some bite. There are a lot of ways to self-harm and the forms are endless.

(2) When I cut, I did not want to die. I was in no way attempting suicide. People that cut (or engage in other forms of self-harm) are not pursuing death. Often, there is a dark emotional state that co-exists with self-harm, a depression of sorts, but the darkness did not leave me with a sense that there was no hope or that I just wanted life to be over. (However, cutting and suicidal ideation can co-exist and it is dangerous to evaluate someone's mental health based on one behavior. If you or someone you know is engaging in self-harm, call a professional to evaluate the situation. Everyone is different and is valuable enough to get help.)

(3) In fact, cutting and self-harm is an attempt to pursue life. It sounds oxymoronic, but I cut because I had a desire to live. Often, in those dark moments, I shut down and "flatlined." I felt no emotion and I cut because I wanted to feel: to either release the inner pain in an outer way or to have a painful experience the jump-started my emotions again, freeing me from my numbness. This is the hardest part to explain to people that have never experienced NSSI, but there is a release of adrenaline and dopamines, as well as a sense of recognition that I was still a human being with real blood pumping through my veins, leading people to feel better immediately after cutting.

(4) Cutting and self-harm is not always a sign of serious mental illness, although it can be. For me, self-injury was more like a coping mechanism. It was something that I did because there's this conflict, this war, inside of you. And it's a war between emotions, often pain and numbness. As they fight, the feelings just grow stronger and stronger. It seems impossible to have to such powerful conflicting feelings at the same time, but you do, and then you reach a point where it's just unbearable, so you cut and it's like slashing a tire, suddenly all that pressure is released. But, self-injury may co-exist or be a symptom of a mental disorder, which should only be diagnosed by a professional.

(5) Cutters don't fit into a stereotypical box. When I was a teen, our cliques consisted of the popular kids, nerds, goths, druggies, etc. The goths were the ones assumed to cut and engage in self-harm. The cliques have evolved, but the idea is the same. I don't care what you label a kid as: emo, hipster, loser. A category or social group does not correspond with whether someone participates in self injury. There are kids that cut, scratch, and brand from all walks of life: all races, all social classes, all income levels, all family backgrounds. Do not assume that someone cuts or not based on how they appear.

(6) Self-harm is an expression of pain. There are a lot of things said about people that cut: "It's attention-seeking," "She's just drama," "There's no reason for her to be doing such stupid things to her body," "He must be into drugs," "Cutting is because of childhood abuse," etc. While the statements may be true, they are not helpful. People that injure themselves may be seeking attention, be dramatic, be using drugs, or may have been abused. But, more than anything, they are people and they are hurting. Ignoring them or ignoring their behaviors is not an answer.

(7) All I wanted, all I really wanted, was help. I would have loved to be forced to go to therapy because I just...ached...inside and I didn't know why. I was supposed to be a normal and happy kid, but inside, I was just hollow, hurt, dark, and scared. I wanted nothing else but to be found on the floor, sobbing and bloody, resulting in someone forcing me to seek treatment. I wanted someone to validate how scary life was and how hard it can be sometimes to deal with everything. I desperately needed someone to take my side and say that I wasn't simply crazy. But, I didn't know how to ask for that. Many kids, teens, and even adults today that deal with self injury need someone to be there for them, to be a nonjudgmental and empathetic partner in their journey to discover why they do what they do and to learn how to cope in healthy ways.

Photo taken from DeviantArt: Self Harm by GeraldsHouseofWolves

While there is so much more that can be said and explored, these seven points are the ones that I find to be the most beneficial in educating people about cutting and self injury. In the years since I was a teen, some excellent research has been done and some great books have been written. If you want more information about self-harm, A Bright Red Scream by Marilee Strong and Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation by Steven Levenkron are some great resources to begin with. Or, you can always contact me with questions or comments. I can only pray that this post helps one parent gain insight into the actions or their child or helps one teen reach out to someone and share their dark and bloody secret.