The Church: Causing People To Run Away?

I am by no means well educated in theology. I am, however, educated in psychology.

I have never ran a church and have worked in ministry for less than a year. I didn't study for this. I never saw this in my future. I did however grow up in a church.

I have seen too many people run away from God. I have seen too many people run away from Christ. And I have seen too many people run away from the Church.

What about this makes people run and hide and turn their backs on even the idea of being a Christian? Often, too often, when you ask "Why don't you go to church anymore?" they answer honestly. And it seems to consistantly point back to an individual or a group of individuals who hurt them.

So what do we, as church-goers, do? What should a pastor do to end this cycle? Why is it so hard for people within church walls to admit that they have done wrong? I do not know a single person who has been perfect in life or perfect in faith. And, I know that I surely am not.

I smoke. I curse far too much. I have anger problems, especially against my husband. Sometimes, I'm unfair with my children. I hold a grudge against friends. I get pissed at God. I blame my parents for me being screwed up. I allow myself to be used and abused, then I get mad for it. I am judgemental against people making bad decisions. I had sex before I was married. I drank underage. The list goes on and on and on. I am sinful. And I am fallen.

I am by no means a perfect Christian, but it scares me to think that we are causing people, hurting people, people that are struggling, people that need faith, to run from the church instead of running to it.

What needs to change?