Breaking Funhouse Mirrors: Going Beyond My Father to See God

I continue to try to work through this chapter in Father Fiction [by Donald Miller] about Belonging...

As Donald's discussion with his mentor and father figure, John, continues, more is laid upon my heart.

John says, "Ultimately, we all belong to God. In Scripture, he refers to himself as our Father, and I think he really longs for us to know him as that. So I would say, none of us is really without a father...Maybe you have to be a father to understand it...But there isn't any love like this. I love [my son] and the girls in a way I can't explain. I really can't. It feels like some kind of miracle. I want them to love life. I want to give them joy. I want them to mature. And now that I have felt all this, I understand so much more of life. I understand why a sunset is beautiful. I understand why I don't get what I want all the time. I understand why God disciplines me. I understand God is a father."



As a kid, my dad wasn't perfect...far from it, as can be seen here. But I loved him (and I still love him) and I know that he loved (and still does love) me. However, it was not nearly a reflection of what God's love is like. Therefore, growing up, my vision of God as a father has been quite skewed, like a funhouse mirror. In areas where God disciplines, there was distortion. In areas of trusting God, more distortion. I somewhat, subconsciously, saw God the Father as a slightly better version of MY father. And, He is so much more. He is what my father should be (times a million) not what my father is. The distinction for a kid is hard. Even as a young adult, I still struggle.

How do you trust God the Father to be there for you at all times when your earthly father failed you so many times? How do you believe that God the Father has your best intentions at heart when your earthly father has selfish ways? How do you love God the Father fully when you have learned to guard your love with your earthly father?

Slowly, is the only answer I can come up with. It's a slow process and as sad as it is, you have to trust, believe and love first to see that He will not fail us. I have had to put aside all my misguided thoughts about fathers in order to give my world to God (and, I am not even near that point of fully trusting, believing or loving) and I have to do it over...and over...and over.

But, becoming a parent caused the funhouse mirror to stop being quite so deceptive. I have been able to see into my own heart as a mother and into my husband's heart as a father to see what is a better glimpse of God the Father. And, we are still far from it, but it has led me one step closer to the greatest father figure in the world.