I would like to apologize to anyone and everyone who grew concerned regarding my prior post, which I have removed. I was venting and was extremely overwhelmed at the time of posting and I should not have been so public in posting my emotional reaction to unexpected news. It was unprofessional and crude.
I have taken the day to dwell, think, digest, tinker, and work through my thoughts and emotions and I have recognized my selfishness and immaturity in posting. I had no intention of creating negativity or concern. I was struggling more with God than the situation itself.
Throughout the course of the day and wrestling with God, I realize that I was more frustrated with Him and struggling to determine His Will for me than any specific element of the situation. There are times where I just want to scream to him, "TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!" And I often recieve jumbled answers that I try to decipher. Today was a jumbled answer that I was not expecting and I apologize for the rant, if you read it.
I have recognized, through discussions with those close to me and through conversations with God, that I am truely blessed to be where I am. I have turned my attitude around, am ready to get back on the horse, and will be going forward with this full force, determined to figure out where God wants me. I cannot and willnot give up. It's not in who He made me to be.
If you read the previous post, please know that I wish you had not. It was thought that I should have dealt with myself, not in a public forum. And I am truely sorry.
I love everyone in my life and I love where God has positioned me. That post was a moment when my humanity won and I fell short of what God wants me to be. In hindsight, I was wrong. I was fighting for earthly things and I do not want to do that. I want to continue to strive for His Will for me, not my own. That was wherein the battle lied.
So, please accept my apology...
