The Victims of The Grey

Earlier, I posted this about the good guys vs. the bad guys; the black and white that we are taught and the areas that are hard to decipher. There are more grey areas than areas of black and white.

As a Christian, I have seen where this can be damaging to my children's safety. We love strangers because Jesus loves us all, but we do not trust them or speak to them (unless Mommy or Daddy says its okay). We go to a police officer if we are lost or hurt, and when we need help, a police officer will come help us, but even restrictions must be taught my five-year-old.

I hate that the world is so scary.

I also hate that I struggle to trust.

In my faith, we trust one another. Trust is an essential foundation. But, in the world you cannot trust people. You never know who is lying, cheating, hiding, plotting, etc.

In the last few weeks, I have seen more than my share of this. And it breaks my soul. It makes my heart cry out for the "good guys" who have fallen victim to someone's malice and wrong doings.

Usually, but not always, the innocent victims are the children. Children are the ones hurt most by addiction, greed, drugs, abuse, lies, etc. Adults play more of an active role, but children are uninvolved.

In my life, I always think of the affair. I do not claim to be the victim of my husband cheating. I played a role in our marriage and its darkness. I played a role in tearing apart his self esteem and breaking down communication. I was not innocent. However, one reason we changed our lives around and began to fix our marriage was the bystanders, our kids. And there will always be another victim, the other child born of the affair.

In my life, I also think of my dad. I have fallen victim to his alcohol addiction. I have played no role in causing him to drink or build his addiction. However, I have adjusted to it the best way that I can. But, now that he continues to be arrested, it is affecting our family, my kids.

Are my husband and my dad “bad guys”? No. Is there any black and white in these situations? No. It’s all a shade of grey.

Those are only two personal situations. In the world around me, I see a lot. I have been exposed to a ton in my short life: death, murder, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, abuse, molestation, rape, gang involvement, prison time, domestic violence, drug sales, violence, police, car wrecks, blood, robbery, etc…if I have not personally been through it, I have been close enough to it to see the inner workings of it all. People’s emotions, fears, hurts. The anger, the aggression. The remorse.

Are these people “good guys” or “bad guys”? Is there a label to describe people as “good” or “bad”?

We cannot judge a person’s character by a single action.

But what happens when it repeats? When it occurs over and over and over again? What about those people that are being hurt by it, especially those who are incapable of defending and protecting themselves?

I don’t know. Every situation is different. Every situation has a long story behind it that is only ever truly known by those directly involved, but what do you do when those people involved return to their bad choices? I don’t know.

All I know is that it makes my heart hurt.