When The Tornado Hits

A couple days ago, the area in which we live was ravaged by tornadoes. About half the nation was hit by these storms, it seems. We were fortunate. The towns to the west of us were hit. The towns to the east of us were hit. Towns north and south of us were hit, but we were not.

At least, not outside.

Inside my house, the swirling, spinning, whirlwinds of life with a family have struck. I continue to try to clean and every day, there are socks and shoes lying everywhere, laundry has been dumped in piles here and there, the pillows that belong on the couch are lying on the floor around its base, papers from school and work and life are scattered along table tops, toys and coloring things are sprinkled around, and more.

I do not know how to make this mess remain controllable without spending five hours a day in cleaning mode. It sounds horrible, but we do not have five hours a day to clean.

Let me clarify, my house is not necessarily dirty. Yes, the dishes are piled in the sink, but they are washed daily, two days at the most. We have three adults and two kids here. They pile up fast. The trash is emptied and taken outside when it is full, and at least once a week, I take a trip through the bathrooms to empty the trash cans there. But it's the other, non-dirty mess that drives me insane.

I am a world-renouned (okay, maybe that's an exaggeration) organization freak. It's quite probably an OCD thing. The dvds are in alphabetical order. There are crates under the tables with filing folders, one personal and one work related. I have to have things orderly when they are in sight and when they are out of sight, but lately, I cannot keep up with it all.

Some days it really bothers me. Other days, I'm too tired to care. I think that at one time, I needed the house to be "perfect" in order to balance out the plain insanity of the rest of my life. So, maybe it's good that my house is disorderly. It's a sign of healing. Or, maybe it's a sign of exhaustion. I will stick to the first.

Jose and I are not perfect. Nor are we close to it. We go up and we go down. We have many lows and enough highs. We are facing battles that I would not wish upon my worst enemy, but we are healthy and we have beautiful, loving children. We are blessed beyond belief and I need to remain focused on that. The rest we can work through. And, work through it we do.

Many tornadoes have hit our relationship in the last five and a half years since we said "I do." Tornadoes that hurt. That are costly. That tear us apart. But we are stubborn and we continue to rebuild our relationship and our life, stronger and stronger. When we first got married, we built our house out of straw. That kinda straw that is full of ideals and lovey dovey weak and flimsy grass. When the first winds came, we rebuilt, a little stronger, and with each subsequent wind gusts, we have rebuilt again and again. With the affair, I believe we successfully made the leap from straw to sticks, but sticks are still not strong enough to withstand the high winds that occasionally blow through. We have a faith though, with the house of sticks, that has made us much stronger than before, but there is still much more we can do to make it better.

So, my house is a mess, but my marriage isn't. So, I gladly trade one for the other.