[This post is kinda for my hubby who never reads my blog, but also for the many people that I love and who share their lives with me everyday, whether they are my deep and honest friends, or random acquaintances, or even clients...there's something that I wish I could tell everyone...so, I'm going to do it here.]
Dear YOU...
People are jerks. No, not all people. Welp, actually, yes. All people are jerks. However, we need to look a little deeper than that.
People are human beings. They suck. They make mistakes. They fall short. They are jerks. SOMETIMES.
And if we are being honest...you and I do too. We are human beings. We suck. We make mistakes. We fall short. We are jerks. Sometimes.
If we live our lives dependent solely on other people to make us happy, to give us joy and purpose, we will be miserable. If you look at the people around you and your interactions with them to give your live value, you will be worthless. If you rely on others to feel fulfilled, you will be empty.
If you lean on your friends, you will fall. If you have your family as your sole support, you will come crashing down. If you depend on your spouse and your children to hold you up, you will find yourself face down in the mud. Because people are just people. And they are no stronger than you or I are.
So, let's go through this again. People are jerks. If you depend only on them, you will be disappointed. And they will let you down.
Now, let's go one step further. People are jerks, but that doesn't give you an excuse to be a jerk. So what? That guy's an idiot and that chick is a royal pain in my butt. Does that mean that I can return their attitude to them ten fold? Sure. I can. But I shouldn't.
Neither should you.
If a dude cuts you off, smile and wave. If a girl is rude to you, return in kindness. If your wife is in a crappy mood and calls you names, hug her and tell her that you love her anyways. If your kids are throwing rocks at your head, discipline in love instead of freaking out and screaming at them like a madman. (I need to work on that one myself.)
You get the point, right? People suck, but you don't have to.
Additionally, sometimes people are mean and they don't even know it. We are selfish by nature. I know, hard to believe, but it's true. I automatically assume that everything revolves around me. You automatically assume that everything revolves around you. And those other people automatically assume that everything revolves around them.
And, I won't lie. Sometimes, things do revolve around you. Kinda. Like your birthday party. Or the five minutes it takes for you to open your Christmas gift from me. And, occassionally, when someone is saying something crappy, it is about you, but that goes back to being an intentional jerk. We are discussing accidental jerks.
Accidental jerk moments occur when we assume that the world revolves around us, and it doesn't. Seriously. That's how most of these event happen.
For example, you say something about your day at work, but it's vague, and all I hear is you complaining. I automatically assume that you are complaining and talking smack about me. I get upset and there's the accidetal jerk moment.
Another example. Someone is joking about something unrelated to you, but somehow, it just happens to fit some stuff that you're going through. You assume they are joking and laughing at your situation, which hurts, and you get mad and go off. There's the accidental jerk moment.
We can't make people be more considerate. But, we can put on our big boy undies/big girl panties and change our reactions.
I know this isn't a new concept...but sometimes, we just need reminded.
You control how you react.
And, that reaction can change your whole world.
If you step back and think about it, you may notice the accidental jerk moments. If you aren't sure, depending on the situation, step back, calm down, and talk to the person. Of, if you can, just let it go. Sometimes, you'll realize how silly it was to even assume it was you.
Then, there are the intentional jerk moments. These are the times where we want to immediately throw our fists in the air, ready to box. These are the times where we have spiteful words on our tongues and are ready to spit fire. These are the times where we are angry and pissed off and want nothing more than to curse the people and be done with them.
But...
Wait for it, because I know it's a doozie...
But, that isn't what we are called to do. We are challenged to love one another, including our enemies. Wha...?! That sucks, right? I agree. It's hard. But there's a funny thing that happens with love. When you start loving, especially people that are jerks...it's hard. You really can struggle. Then, it gets easier as you keep doing it.
Loving doesn't mean being stepped on though. It doesn't mean allowing yourself to be used as a doormat. It doesn't mean allowing yourself to be hurt.
It means that you love them, and you talk to them respectfully if the situation arises, and you pray for them honestly, and you don't speak hateful speech about them (no matter how much you want to).
You can love someone even if you chose to never interract with them. You can love someone even if you walk away from the relationship for awhile.
You can also love someone by sitting right next to them, holding them, and caring for them.
Love takes many forms.
And, there's this miracle that occurs...the more you love people, the less you see them as jerks. And the more you see people as they really are, the less you get hurt by them.
With that being said, I love you. There are times that you are an accidental jerk and times that you are an intentional jerk. There are times that I am an accidental jerk and times that I am an accidental jerk. But as we both work on focusing on how to love, in a Christlike manner, the better things will be between us and the world.
Sincerely,
ME
1 comment:
Well said. :)
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