The last month was a hard one on me. On our financies. On our family. On my marriage.
But, have no fear, we are okay. We shall survive.
Long story short. I was working long hours, averaging 50 hours per week. Money was tight. I was tired. Jose was pulling a lot of my household weight. The heat has been intense and we don't have central air. It was too hot to be outside much, but we were also confined to one or two rooms of the house. There was just a lot of struggle going on. And, to some extent, it was a spiritual battle as well. Wanting more, needing less. Having a battle with greed. Uncertain of where to move forward.
We needed a gentle reminder to focus on God. We got that reminder, but in a slightly harsher way. However, we have had many conversations, said many prayers, and dedicated ourselves to working through this. We have had to come to terms with some things, recognize truth in others, and move forward.
Some things I have concluded:
- There's a difference between joy and happiness. We were joyful. We were not always happy. Joy is found in God. Happiness is found in our world. We wanted happiness, but we realized that we had joy through it all. It's a hard concept to grasp, especially in our instant gratification world.
- I am not content to be still. At a conference I attended last year, a speaker spoke about two types of people: starters and maintainers. I am a starter. I am a go-go-go person with many projects, and I like it that way. God made me that way. It's not that I am hiding or escaping things. I am just wired that way. And, it's okay, as long as I make sure to take time and focus on what matters the most.
- We had a long discussion about our priorities. Together, we made a top 5 list: God, Our Marriage, Our Kids, Health, and To Provide for Our Kids. I'm pretty sure this is going to be painted somewhere soon...
1 comment:
Well written. I am proud of you for pushing through. Not everyone can do that, and I know you have unusual circumstances, that not everyone has to deal with. You are at a higher level as a human being for that reason--and I think you know what I'm talking about. It's taken me, personally, awhile to figure out the order of priorities in order to make our marriage work, so that in the end--our kids will benefit from it. A lot of times I put the kids first, but sometimes we need to save our marriage and have a night out alone, or stick Barney on and lock ourselves in the bedroom ;) ;). Keep pushing and keep fighting. I know you will. In all areas of life.
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