And.....I Go Back.

I just called and made an appointment with my therapist. Again. I am returning to therapy. Again.

I am praying that this is nothing. I am praying that he gives me the tools to walk away and be okay.

More boulders have fallen on top of me recently. Only, these boulders have caused me to questions some elements in my past, some empty areas, some images in my head. And, now, I'm not only coping with the boulder itself, but what it represents.

However, despite the weight pressing upon me, despite the nauseous feeling in my stomach the last few days, I have a sort of peace that God's plan is in action in my life. That God has me right where he needs me. And that the time is now to cope and move forward. I feel strong enough, through Him, to deal with this, which is amazing because the thought of this, a year or so ago, would have ruined me. But the puzzle pieces are beginning to make sense, and if it's not this, I think there is something that I need to figure out. And God wants me to figure it out now.

I know that God is in motion right now, and as scary as this all seems, I know it will be okay.