I haven't spoken with this person about blogging about her, so I won't be naming names or anything, but honestly, names don't matter.
I grew up in a conservative Christian home with a mom and a stepdad who seemed to follow all the rules. My every other weekend with my dad however, showed me a different side of life. So, I have always had my eyes opened to lifestyles and topics that were...less than conservative Christian-like.
Still, I rarely thought about topics that were seen as taboo in my home until they touched my life personally. So, when friends started to say that they were gay or lesbian, I just let it be. To each his/her own, right? Then, this person that I love more than life itself started to open up to people about her sexuality, I began to struggle with the issue. I was always taught that it was wrong and should be avoided like the plague. Yet, here she was standing in front of me with her girlfriend, and I saw them interact, and saw it as so much more than a lifestyle because I love her so much.
And I began to think and really internalize what it all meant for me. I spoke to the hubs about it. I discussed it with my mom (who doesn't quite agree with my opinion, but that's the joy of it being my opinion: she doesn't need to agree with it). I talked to my therapist about it. I even shared my thoughts with my pastor and boss. So, now that I have finally formulated my thoughts, here they are:
I love this person immensely. I know this person's entire life from birth and know where she comes from. I know what, statistically, should be in her future, and I am so proud that she has forged a new path from her past. I am proud of who she is, whether she is straight, bisexual, or a lesbian. She has become a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart, despite all odds.
I want to see this person happy. I want to see her in a loving and supportive relationship. Did I ever envision this in her future? No. But, I would rather see her in a relationship with a woman who respects her, who loves her, who cares for her and protects her. A woman who will not intentionally hurt her, who won't cheat on her, who doesn't have substance or alcohol abuse issues, who isn't abusive. A woman who will have her best interests at heart, than a man who does not. Anyday. Period. Everyone deserves that type of love.
Now, I know a question still exists...do I think it's wrong for this person (or anyone) to be homosexual? My answer is this: Biblically, yes, it is wrong. The Bible states that sexuality should be with the opposite sex. There are all sorts of hateful phrases and the one that I think of immediately is "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." And to that, I would reply, "Yes, but then there was the fall of man." The Bible says that a lot of things are wrong, sin. If I lust after the sexy actor on tv, I am sinning. If I hold jealousy in my heart, I am sinning. If I covet the newest game system or laptop, I am sinning. If I get drunk, I am sinning. When I eat and eat and eat to the point of worshipping food, I am sinning. My husband had an affair and he was sinning. But the Bible also states that we cannot judge one another. How am I going to tell this person that I love that her splinter is there when I have a 2x4 in my life? Do I point out that her decision is sinful, when my life is full of my own sin? No. I cannot and I will not. I am no better than she is. There is no way to compare. God loves me despite my sins. Can he not love her because of her sexuality?
So, with all the political hubbub, where do I stand on same sex marriage? First off, I'm not political by any means, but if my dad can get married four times and tear all four marriages apart with adultery and alcohol, why can't this person marry her girlfriend? If I can have the sanctity of marriage with my cheating husband, why can she not commit her life legally through marriage to a woman? The largest arguement is that marriage is the covenant between a man and a woman through God, but we have traveled so far from that point within our fine nation.
We allow any man and woman to recieve a marriage license, despite number of previous divorces or history of domestic abuse or drug addictions. The government will issue a marriage license to any man and woman that will pay the fee, and they are free to be legally married by an ordained minister or in the courts. Why is it so difficult to allow two women or two men to obtain the same license to be married by the state? If partners are committed and spend their lives together, why not allow them to obtain some of the same "perks" as every married male/female couple, such as filing jointly on taxes or getting medical insurance together?
The truth is that the church and the state are such separate entities that this is not a strong arguement at all, to not allow same sex marriages. If we want to begin to fight to rejoin church and state, why not allow prayer at schools? Why not recommit to the phrase "In God We Trust"? Why not begin with the areas that are more relevant to daily life? It does not hurt me and my life to allow them to be married.
Will the state "void" my marriage because of my husband's affair? Should they divorce couples who do not honor one another? Will they nullify marriages when one spouse is found guilty of domestic abuse? Or is that a personal choice to get divorced? Because, Jose cheating on me was Biblically a reason that I could leave my marriage. So, does the state have the power to take control of my marriage due to that? No. And they should not discriminate against gay and lesbian marriages either.
[Okay, I'm stepping off my soapbox now. And for that special person in my life whom spurred this tangent, I LOVE YOU.]
1 comment:
Love it! :)
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