I Hate Being An Adult.

Hate. Hate. HATE IT!

I wanna flop around on the ground and yell and cry and scream.
I wanna throw things and kick my feet.
I wanna STOMP.

I hate responsibility.
I hate being responsible.
I hate being an adult.

I want to, just once, do something without worrying about what it costs.
I want to, just once, do something without worrying about the future consequences.
I want to, just once, be selfishly indulgent and do whatever I want, without knowing it's not the responsible choice.

Ugh.

I hate bills.
I hate debt.
I hate money.

I hate costs.
I hate living expenses.
I hate finances.

I hate being frugal.
I hate being broke.
I hate being responsible.

Seriously, why can't I just spoil myself occassionally without feeling racked with GUILT for whatever money I spend?!

Jose offered to take me shopping for Valentine's Day. I was excited. The thought of a couple new pairs of jeans was good. (I honestly don't remember buying clothes in about two years.) But then, I balanced our checkbook. And, no, we're not in super debt or anything. I know I should be grateful that we can pay our bills and have money left over. But, I feel like we need to focus on paying off our debt so everything left over should go to that, not for jeans. Plus, we have a (cheap) date night planned, but I'm sure that Jose will now cancel that because he gets all upset about money.

I HATE MONEY.
I HATE BEING AN ADULT.