A friend of mine named Mike just posted this on facebook. With all the work I do with fatherhood, I found it intriguing and would love to hear your input. I am not certain if it is a real letter or not; I'm not sure of its origin...but whatever the story behind it is, there is an element of truth behind it. Do you agree? What should change in the court systems? What needs to change in society?
To Whom it May Concern:
I am the mother of a son caught in the debtor's prison with back child support payments due.Before I begin, I want to agree that something must be done about delinquent fathers who just leave their families, but I think that each case should be given consideration. I know my son is spoiled and plays an important part in the divorce, but no one deserves this type of punishment.
My son was married, we thought, to a lovely girl with whom my whole family fell in love. I was told later by her best friends that she had always been wild and loved to go to western dance halls, and loved to drink. She also likes to have affairs. She started seeing a character at one of these dance halls that she and her single friends frequented. If my son did not want to go with her to these parties, she would leave him at home with their two beautiful little girls, and go out dancing and clubbing till the wee hours of the morning. My son worked at night for my husband and sometimes would come home only to find strange people in the house taking care of the children, or he would get a phone call as to where to go to pick up the babies (4yrs. and 1yr.); she was out with her friends.
One day out of the clear blue sky, she told my son that she was bored with her life, and she was too young to be tied down. The next day he was talking to some of his friends, and they told my son that they had seen his wife out dancing several times with the same guy. My son checked around amoung the places she liked best, and found out that she was having an affair. When my son confronted her, she said "Yes," and that she had filed for a divorce. She had him served with an injunction and he was thrown out of his home. All of this before he had a chance to think.
How did she do it? Well she simply planned with her lover to go to a lawyer and say the "child abuse" words, and that she was afraid he would hurt her. The court did not even investigate his side of the story. My son was so hurt that he broke into his home and tore up all her clothes and things and threw everything out in the yard. That just made her case seem more real. I told her that she was lucky it was just her clothes he destroyed, some men might have attacked her physically. She moved her new lover into the house, and he took over my son's role.
Why do courts think that men have no feelings and cannot feel pain? My son was broken. His whole life was shattered. When I talked to him he said, "Mom, she took everything from me. My love, my home, my truck, clothes and now she has brought this stranger in to replace me as their father!" She told us that the kids were too young to remember him for very long.
She told the court that she was afraid that I would try to kidnap my granddaughters from her, so I cannot see them. She said the same about my daughter. My daughter kept the four year old for a whole year while this girl could get her hair dressing license. She and her husband dearly loved the child, but they cannot see her. In other words this woman and her new lover have hurt this family, deeply, but the court lets her get everything and keep us from those little girls. Even her best friends testified in court to all I have told you.
My son went into depression, he cannot see his girls, he has been unable to get a good job, so of course he fell behind in his child support. He finally found a job with an electric company that wants to train him and even send him to night school. He also has a job working at a feed store in the evening. While he was working, the sheriff's department came out and arrested him on the job. Now he sits in a Texas jail with some terrible criminals. The longer he sits there the bigger the debt. The bigger the debt the longer he sits there. When I talked to the lawyer, he says the punishment part has nothing to do with the term, they know that the families love their son or brother so much that they will find some money somewhere.
You probably hear these stories over and over. If you think this one is bad, I may tell you about my oldest sons torture through this same court system some day. Is there any hope?? I know that marriage and family do not have the same values for young people that I had. But my son was raised by me, and has different expectations from a marriage, and he gave his whole heart to her.
She was raised the way her babies will be raised, and so they probably will not have a chance to know the meaning of a close family. We have heard now that she has lived with several men, before she married my son. How many "uncles" will they have? They will be raised to think their father abused them, did not want them, and would not even feed them. What will they think of their grandmother, and why did their favorite aunt and uncle stop wanting them?
My prayers are for these fathers who get caught in this maze of uncaring courts, and laws that do not give equal consideration for the father's needs and emotional stress. Laws that were made to appease women's groups do not represent the majority of women.
Thank you, if you read this far,
A grieving mother
Showing posts with label Court. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Court. Show all posts
I would like to introduce Carla, with an unofficial law degree. [Part II]
See what happens? I say I'm probably not going to be able to blog and all this stuff happens that I just *have* to post about!
Remember this? Yea, all the way from July.
Well, I never was able to do a continuation because nothing was ever known.
There was another court date for the rest of the tickets that ensued. The ones that Jose actually recieved in March, as well as two in April which were also NOT my husband. The April tickets came into play shortly after court, when we called one of the courts to make sure we know when pre-trial was. She asked for which tickets. I ended up going to the court and speaking to her. She informed me that on April 15 at midnight (the same day that Jose had pretrial for the original set of tickets), "Jose" was pulled over driving a white Honda. I asked, "Did he just happen to NOT have a license?" She did a little computer clicking and turned her screen around for me to see.
"I guess not. The officer took a photo."
Guess what? It was NOT my husband. It was my brother-in-law. In the flesh. Grinning like a fool. Oblivious to the fact that he was caught. I asked if I could have a copy of the ticket and the photo. After checking to make sure it was okay, she gave it to me. And she arranged it so that all the tickets could have the same pretrial date so we only had to appear once.
At court that day, it was time for Jose to approach the bench. Upon trying to explain the entire situation, Jose was getting flustered and the judge was clearly confused. I spoke up from my seat and asked if I could speak. Without looking up, the judge told me to be quiet and I could speak when it was my turn. The police officer next to him whispered that I was with Jose and Jose spoke up to say, "That's my wife." The judge's demeanor changed quickly and he welcomed me to join Jose at the bench. Once I got up there, I explained the situation and the various tickets: a driving while suspended ticket in March, a driving while suspended ticket in April, a speeding ticket in March, and a fraudulent plates ticket in April.
Jose pled guilty to speeding in March, which he was guilty of. We opted for the deferral. Both of the driving while suspended cases were dropped, since the removal of the suspension went from the beginning, it wasn't on his driving record, hence, he wasn't "suspended."
The final ticket was a fraudulent plate ticket. Despite the evidence, aka the photo, the judge couldn't dismiss the case because it was pre-trial and not a real trial. He said he would give a 30 day continuance for us to try to get the charges dropped from the state police. We went and spoke to a trooper, who said that there was nothing they could do. He suggested we contact the prosecuter's office. We did. Multiple times and never got a call back. So, about a month later, a letter came stating that Jose must pay about $200 or else his license would be suspended...again. We wrote a letter saying that it wasn't him and that he wasn't going to pay. We requested a trial.
When I dropped off the letter, the woman at the desk recognized me and I asked her what would happen. She said that as long as the letter was in, they wouldn't act upon the suspension. That was September. We called every so often and asked what was going on. For about a month, the judge was on vacation. Then, the letter was sitting on his desk. We never got information about a court date or any further action taken or to take. Until today.
Today, I took out the trash and the the mailman was driving down the street. I grabbed the mail and there was a letter from the court. I said a quick prayer, took a deep breath, and opened it...
CASE DISMISSED!
Praise God! It's a Christmas miracle!!!
Now, if only we can survive this $10K lawsuit from 2001...
Remember this? Yea, all the way from July.
Well, I never was able to do a continuation because nothing was ever known.
There was another court date for the rest of the tickets that ensued. The ones that Jose actually recieved in March, as well as two in April which were also NOT my husband. The April tickets came into play shortly after court, when we called one of the courts to make sure we know when pre-trial was. She asked for which tickets. I ended up going to the court and speaking to her. She informed me that on April 15 at midnight (the same day that Jose had pretrial for the original set of tickets), "Jose" was pulled over driving a white Honda. I asked, "Did he just happen to NOT have a license?" She did a little computer clicking and turned her screen around for me to see.
"I guess not. The officer took a photo."
Guess what? It was NOT my husband. It was my brother-in-law. In the flesh. Grinning like a fool. Oblivious to the fact that he was caught. I asked if I could have a copy of the ticket and the photo. After checking to make sure it was okay, she gave it to me. And she arranged it so that all the tickets could have the same pretrial date so we only had to appear once.
At court that day, it was time for Jose to approach the bench. Upon trying to explain the entire situation, Jose was getting flustered and the judge was clearly confused. I spoke up from my seat and asked if I could speak. Without looking up, the judge told me to be quiet and I could speak when it was my turn. The police officer next to him whispered that I was with Jose and Jose spoke up to say, "That's my wife." The judge's demeanor changed quickly and he welcomed me to join Jose at the bench. Once I got up there, I explained the situation and the various tickets: a driving while suspended ticket in March, a driving while suspended ticket in April, a speeding ticket in March, and a fraudulent plates ticket in April.
Jose pled guilty to speeding in March, which he was guilty of. We opted for the deferral. Both of the driving while suspended cases were dropped, since the removal of the suspension went from the beginning, it wasn't on his driving record, hence, he wasn't "suspended."
The final ticket was a fraudulent plate ticket. Despite the evidence, aka the photo, the judge couldn't dismiss the case because it was pre-trial and not a real trial. He said he would give a 30 day continuance for us to try to get the charges dropped from the state police. We went and spoke to a trooper, who said that there was nothing they could do. He suggested we contact the prosecuter's office. We did. Multiple times and never got a call back. So, about a month later, a letter came stating that Jose must pay about $200 or else his license would be suspended...again. We wrote a letter saying that it wasn't him and that he wasn't going to pay. We requested a trial.
When I dropped off the letter, the woman at the desk recognized me and I asked her what would happen. She said that as long as the letter was in, they wouldn't act upon the suspension. That was September. We called every so often and asked what was going on. For about a month, the judge was on vacation. Then, the letter was sitting on his desk. We never got information about a court date or any further action taken or to take. Until today.
Today, I took out the trash and the the mailman was driving down the street. I grabbed the mail and there was a letter from the court. I said a quick prayer, took a deep breath, and opened it...
CASE DISMISSED!
Praise God! It's a Christmas miracle!!!
Now, if only we can survive this $10K lawsuit from 2001...
I would like to introduce Carla, with an unofficial law degree. [Part I]
For those who have followed our lives closely the past few months, our lives have become a legal hell and I have come to know far too much about the court system.
It started on Friday, March 26, 2010. I had left work early and was headed home. I called Jose because he too was headed home after work. He ended the call quickly saying that he had just been pulled over and would call me back in a moment. When he called back, he stated that he got two tickets and that I needed to go get the neighbor because his license was suspended and he couldn't drive. I thought he was joking because he plays tricks a lot, but after five minutes of frantic conversation on his end, I believed him.
We went to get him and his car. The neighbor took his car and parked it in our driveway for us and we immediately went to the nearest license branch. The woman there said that she could not help us and that we needed to go to the reinstatement office on the north side of town, a nearly half hour drive, that closed twenty minutes later. We took off and jumped on the interstate, making it to the reinstatement office mere minutes before they closed. The woman there said that it was indeed suspended due to a ticket recieved March 24, 2009 and that we would have to speak to the court which was closed for the weekend.
Thus began Jose being licenseless. We thought it would be an easy fix to remove the original ticket that Jose did not get in March 2009 and that the weekend was a small price to pay with him not being able to drive. On Monday, Jose called the court. The clerk told him that he had a ticket issued March 24, 2009 that he failed to appear in court for, resulting in the license suspension. He told her that he never got pulled over in '09. She told him information about the car being driven, a '90 white Cadillac. We drive an '02 blue Intrepid and an '06 red Stratus. Nothing made sense. She also stated that there was a notation with the ticket that the driver did not have his license with him and that the car was his girlfriends. Hmm.
So, the clerk let Jose know that he could come to the Justice Center and recieve a copy of the ticket. As soon as possible, we went and got it. The driver information was all Joses, identical to that on his ID. Everything except the address. The address was that of a house on the SE side of town. We live on the SW side and have lived in this zip code since being married, five years ago.
We wrote a letter to the Judge, as they suggested we do, to state our case and ask for them to clear the charges and the ticket. They set a court date for April 15, 2010. Jose took the day off work and since he couldn't drive, I dropped him off at the courthouse at the time set, thinking it would take a good part of the morning. A mere twenty or thirty minutes later, he called me to pick him up. The court that day was only pretrial and since he pled "not guilty" they had to set a bench trial date, which they did for June 4. Needless to say, we were pretty heated. Jose had already gone half a month without driving and then they drew the case out an additional month and a half.
While we waited for the June court date, we wrote and delivered a second letter to a different court for the March 2010 ticket which Jose actually did recieve. We explained the situation, and asked the court to wait to hear the case until after the March 2009 case was decided.
At the same time, I called a lawyer that my dad recommended and spoke to him, asking what to do. He suggested to speak with the officer that issued the March 2009 ticket. He stated that we could hire him or another lawyer, but that we would have to pay all the legal fees and that they would cost approximately $1500. We immediately realized that that would not be an option. But we did follow up with the calling the officer. I called the Sheriff Department and left a message for the officer who issued the ticket. He called back that afternoon once he arrived to work. I asked him about the incident. The basic component of what he said what that he remembered somewhat the event, despite it being a year later. He remembered that the driver did not have a license or ID of any kind, that the registration was issued to a woman, and that the driver looked "enough like the license, that it seemed okay." From our conversation, I figured that he was basically a rookie and from the sound of his voice, he seemed to be in his mid- to late-20s. I forwarned him that he would probably be subpoenaed for court and we ended the conversation.
So, on June 4th, we headed to court at the scheduled time. After sitting in the courtroom for about forty-five minutes waiting and listening to other cases, Jose's name was called. While we were waiting, I noticed the prosecuter for the courtroom go into the hallway a number of times; I also saw a officer from the Sheriff's Department in the back of the courtroom on occassion. They spoke a couple times briefly and then I noticed the badge. It was the officer who issued Jose's ticket.
When Jose approached the podium, the judge asked him to state his name. He did. Then the judge looked up from the bench and said, "The State has dismissed your case. You're free to go."
I almost burst out laughing when Jose leaned into the microphone, "Really?! That's AWESOME!!! Thank you!" and we left the courtroom with the prosecuter. In the corridor, he stated that they read the letter and followed up with all the information. That, combined with the officer's statement, was enough that they knew they had no case. He said the only thing that didn't make sense was that the computer system said that the most recent ticket issued was for driving while suspeneded and fraudulent registration, not speeding. The ticket issued to Jose was driving while suspeneded and speeding, but we were so happy that it wasn't important. We spoke to the clerk and waited a short time and then recieved the paperwork we needed to go to the BMV and reinstate Jose's license, where we went immediately after leaving the court.
[To Be Continued.]
It started on Friday, March 26, 2010. I had left work early and was headed home. I called Jose because he too was headed home after work. He ended the call quickly saying that he had just been pulled over and would call me back in a moment. When he called back, he stated that he got two tickets and that I needed to go get the neighbor because his license was suspended and he couldn't drive. I thought he was joking because he plays tricks a lot, but after five minutes of frantic conversation on his end, I believed him.
We went to get him and his car. The neighbor took his car and parked it in our driveway for us and we immediately went to the nearest license branch. The woman there said that she could not help us and that we needed to go to the reinstatement office on the north side of town, a nearly half hour drive, that closed twenty minutes later. We took off and jumped on the interstate, making it to the reinstatement office mere minutes before they closed. The woman there said that it was indeed suspended due to a ticket recieved March 24, 2009 and that we would have to speak to the court which was closed for the weekend.
Thus began Jose being licenseless. We thought it would be an easy fix to remove the original ticket that Jose did not get in March 2009 and that the weekend was a small price to pay with him not being able to drive. On Monday, Jose called the court. The clerk told him that he had a ticket issued March 24, 2009 that he failed to appear in court for, resulting in the license suspension. He told her that he never got pulled over in '09. She told him information about the car being driven, a '90 white Cadillac. We drive an '02 blue Intrepid and an '06 red Stratus. Nothing made sense. She also stated that there was a notation with the ticket that the driver did not have his license with him and that the car was his girlfriends. Hmm.
So, the clerk let Jose know that he could come to the Justice Center and recieve a copy of the ticket. As soon as possible, we went and got it. The driver information was all Joses, identical to that on his ID. Everything except the address. The address was that of a house on the SE side of town. We live on the SW side and have lived in this zip code since being married, five years ago.
We wrote a letter to the Judge, as they suggested we do, to state our case and ask for them to clear the charges and the ticket. They set a court date for April 15, 2010. Jose took the day off work and since he couldn't drive, I dropped him off at the courthouse at the time set, thinking it would take a good part of the morning. A mere twenty or thirty minutes later, he called me to pick him up. The court that day was only pretrial and since he pled "not guilty" they had to set a bench trial date, which they did for June 4. Needless to say, we were pretty heated. Jose had already gone half a month without driving and then they drew the case out an additional month and a half.
While we waited for the June court date, we wrote and delivered a second letter to a different court for the March 2010 ticket which Jose actually did recieve. We explained the situation, and asked the court to wait to hear the case until after the March 2009 case was decided.
At the same time, I called a lawyer that my dad recommended and spoke to him, asking what to do. He suggested to speak with the officer that issued the March 2009 ticket. He stated that we could hire him or another lawyer, but that we would have to pay all the legal fees and that they would cost approximately $1500. We immediately realized that that would not be an option. But we did follow up with the calling the officer. I called the Sheriff Department and left a message for the officer who issued the ticket. He called back that afternoon once he arrived to work. I asked him about the incident. The basic component of what he said what that he remembered somewhat the event, despite it being a year later. He remembered that the driver did not have a license or ID of any kind, that the registration was issued to a woman, and that the driver looked "enough like the license, that it seemed okay." From our conversation, I figured that he was basically a rookie and from the sound of his voice, he seemed to be in his mid- to late-20s. I forwarned him that he would probably be subpoenaed for court and we ended the conversation.
So, on June 4th, we headed to court at the scheduled time. After sitting in the courtroom for about forty-five minutes waiting and listening to other cases, Jose's name was called. While we were waiting, I noticed the prosecuter for the courtroom go into the hallway a number of times; I also saw a officer from the Sheriff's Department in the back of the courtroom on occassion. They spoke a couple times briefly and then I noticed the badge. It was the officer who issued Jose's ticket.
When Jose approached the podium, the judge asked him to state his name. He did. Then the judge looked up from the bench and said, "The State has dismissed your case. You're free to go."
I almost burst out laughing when Jose leaned into the microphone, "Really?! That's AWESOME!!! Thank you!" and we left the courtroom with the prosecuter. In the corridor, he stated that they read the letter and followed up with all the information. That, combined with the officer's statement, was enough that they knew they had no case. He said the only thing that didn't make sense was that the computer system said that the most recent ticket issued was for driving while suspeneded and fraudulent registration, not speeding. The ticket issued to Jose was driving while suspeneded and speeding, but we were so happy that it wasn't important. We spoke to the clerk and waited a short time and then recieved the paperwork we needed to go to the BMV and reinstate Jose's license, where we went immediately after leaving the court.
[To Be Continued.]
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