Transitional.

The other night, I had a chat with a friend about our church. Often, I see our church as a place where people walk through the doors as a starting point in their faith. A few families stay for the long run, but many families transition into a more permenant church home.

It's like the first apartment. You live at home for 18+ years, then you take that huge step to independent living. Sometimes, people move from mom and dads and go straight into homeownership. However, most of the time, people get an apartment to make the transition.

Or a first car. People rarely go from having no license to having a brand new car. You start with something a little more comfortable. A stepping stone car, essentially.

It's not a bad thing. God has created everything in His Will. If he wanted our church to be a church for longevity, he would create a church for longevity. But, I think that He is doing wonderful things there, and who am I to question that? The families that have made our church their permenant home are phenomenal and I adore each and every one of them. There are families that have used our church to test the waters, dip their toes in and then step back to re-evaluate their faith walk. There are other families that have used our church as a stepping stone to acclimating or re-acclimating to religion, then settling into a different home church.

And one of the things that I love is that we celebrate nonetheless! A person coming to Christ and making positive life changes is amazing, whether they attend our church or not.

So, this morning, I had a striking thought...which then left me baffled and slightly unsure of what I meant. Hence, the blog to think it through:

I am a transitional friend.

Is that even real? I have asked God to use me to fufill His Will. And I have worked to oblige. So, when people walk into (or out of) my life, I need to praise Him for the relationship that occurred and continue to pray for them. I seem to meet a lot of people when they are simply needing someone. I step in and allow God to work in the relationship (hopefully) and then, when we grow apart or things go ugly or whatever happens, I get upset. I mourn and grieve my friendships. Then (this is where it gets messed up), I automatically begin to question myself. I wonder what I did wrong, if I should have tried harder, dedicated more time to the friend, giving more of myself, etc. And it begins to tear me up. And I go into this "funk" for lack of a better word.

So, if it's positive for the church to be transitional, why do I feel like it's wrong for me to be transitional? Because people don't like to think of relationships as a momentary thing. But, if we're honest, it's deeper than that. I guess when it comes to friendships, I assume that when we part paths, my friends are 100% done with me, they forget about me, they push me out of their lives. This is wrong thinking.

In regards to the church, they use our church to find what they need and begin to grow (hopefully). There's no question, ever, if we left an imprint, because we have faith in God that he will place a special place in the hearts of believers for our church. And it's seen by the "check in" calls and emails and visits.

So, why in my friendships, do I not have the same faith in God? I need to trust that He is in control of the relationships, that he guides me to offer whatever I can to help my friend, whether it's just a faith in people or a specific skill or ability, and then, when the friendship begins to fade (or falls apart) that there's an imprint.

And, the flip side also applies. I need to have faith that God is using those friendships in my life to cause me to grow and shape me into the person He wants me to be. I must continue to pray that He opens my eyes and my heart to what He wants.

I need to keep thinking of this....working through this thought...I know that this is so scrambled, but it's really a striking concept to me. I need to figure out what it means.