As I lied in bed last night, unable to sleep, around 3:30 AM, I opened the Bible app on my phone. On a whim, I opened it to Psalms 4, which just seemed so perfect for me and what I was feeling. I knew God led me there.
Psalm 4 (The Message)
A David Psalm
1 When I call, give me answers. God, take my side! Once, in a tight place, you gave me room;
Now I'm in trouble again: grace me! hear me!
2 You rabble—how long do I put up with your scorn?
How long will you lust after lies?
How long will you live crazed by illusion?
3 Look at this: look
Who got picked by God!
He listens the split second I call to him.
4-5 Complain if you must, but don't lash out.
Keep your mouth shut, and let your heart do the talking.
Build your case before God and wait for his verdict.
6-7 Why is everyone hungry for more? "More, more," they say.
"More, more."
I have God's more-than-enough,
More joy in one ordinary day
7-8 Than they get in all their shopping sprees.
At day's end I'm ready for sound sleep,
For you, God, have put my life back together.
And the NIV is awesome too.
Psalm 4 (New International Version, ©2011)
Psalm 4[a]
For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A psalm of David.
1 Answer me when I call to you,
my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
have mercy on me and hear my prayer.
2 How long will you people turn my glory into shame?
How long will you love delusions and seek false gods[b]?[c]
3 Know that the LORD has set apart his faithful servant for himself;
the LORD hears when I call to him.
4 Tremble and[d] do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.
5 Offer the sacrifices of the righteous
and trust in the LORD.
6 Many, LORD, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?”
Let the light of your face shine on us.
7 Fill my heart with joy
when their grain and new wine abound.
8 In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, LORD,
make me dwell in safety.
I finally fell asleep, focused on verse 8. "For you alone Lord, make me dwell in safety."
I still feel sick. I still feel hurt and upset. I still have a knot in my stomach and a migraine that won't go away. I know that I look like hell. My body won't stop shaking (still). But, above all, I know that God is with me. God is with my family. And God has brought us into this trial knowing that His glory will be done when it is over. I trust in Him that much. I trust that this is not a situation that is irrelevant to His plan. I know He is working. I need to continue to have faith in Him. I need to continue to rely on Him to be my rock. And I will continue to trust that whatever path He guides me upon, it is not in vain.
I will fight the fight that He brings into my life. And I will fight it, with an open sense that He is God. He is bigger than anything I could ever imagine. And He is my source of strength. I cannot do this without Him, and He will not leave me.
I do not need the riches or the material things of this world to make our life meaningful. God is enough.
I do not need the luxurious meals or the fancy jewels. God is enough.
I do not need to live in sin, because my God is enough for me. And, when I cry out to Him to take the worldly desires from my heart, He does.
Isn't that what Lent is all about?
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