I have never been an advocate for or against co-sleeping. When it was necessary for me to get two hours of sleep with newborns, I co-slept. For my son, what that meant was that every night since birth for at least three months, I slept on my back with him laying on my chest until he eventually figured it out. Actually, until we figured it out, meaning a way to "trick" him into sleeping, which resulted in many nights of him sleeping in a car seat. Don't judge me. I had a LOT to deal with at that time.
Anyways, the carseat thing was a means to begin the process of self-soothing and allowing him to sleep on his own. As soon as he was sleeping flat on a mattress insead of in the carseat, he was moved to his crib in his own room. (Isa slept in her crib in our living room from the time we brought her home. We had a 1 bedroom apartment, so the living room became her oasis.) I do not think there is need to keep my kids in the room with me while I sleep. I also do not judge those who do. I know myself to know that I would fret and freak out about every peep and squeak made when they are next to me, so as soon as they are sleeping well on their own, they are in a separate room.
With both kids, we switched them from cribs to toddler beds early on. Isa was probably 2 or so when we made the switch. Teo was barely one. He loved going into Isa's room to lay (and play and jump and fall off of) her toddler bed, so when her feet began to hang off the edge and we got her a twin bed, we saw no reason to wait to make the switch. And, I believe it was a good choice. He adjusted well and he adjusted quickly. His room was already very baby proofed, and in case you didn't notice, Teo is twice the size of a kid his age (then and now). So the change to a toddler bed last spring was a success.
However, when we made the change, we also implemented the use of a baby gate in his doorway during naptime and night night time. He never climbs it or kicks it down (although he definately could if he just thought about it). The gate was not just to keep him in his room, but to protect him from the nearby stairs and from the dangerous small toys in the neighboring bedroom and more. But, since then, he has mastered going up and down the stairs, he has grown knowledgeable on where sissy's room is and where mommy and daddy's room is. And Isa has began to take it as her task to release him from his gated prison. So, as soon as he was awake, the gate came down, whether mommy or daddy knew or not. (I am sure this is a secret agreement amongst them, as their early morning routine includes playing quietly in Isa's bedroom, watching a video and eating whatever Isa has gotten for their breakfast, whether Mommy or Daddy are awake or not.) So, in the past week, the gate has slowly but surely become an option, not a necessity.
Last night, around 3:30 AM, I was waken from a deep sleep by wiggling and a tiny voice just talking and talking next to me in my bed. I have no idea what baby talk jibberish was being said, nor am I sure what all the movement was about. I have no clue how long he had been there. But, there he was, my lil' Teo...chatting away, wiggling to his hearts content, sandwiched between Jose and I in our bed. He seemed to be oblivious to the fact that Mom and Dad were not listening nor paying attention. That we were deep asleep. So, slowly, as I began to wake up, I talked softly with him and we spent about 15 minutes of chitter chatter, before I tried to awake Daddy to return Teo to his bed. I love his words. As I'm trying to shake Jose, all I hear is "DaDa. Nigh Nigh. BaBa. DADA!"
I am sure that this too will run its course and there will be a point where I get frustrated by this (I know this for a fact because the five year old little girl that we find in our bed causes me literal backaches with how she takes over the mattress), but right now, it makes me smile.
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